Gratitude amid grief - Melony McCarthy, 3rd August, 2015

Through the past several hours of being devastated, inconsolable, comforted by good people and my remaining dogs, and pulling myself up from weeping in a ball on the floor with Molly licking my tears, I am starting to feel some peace. Some, not all peace and light.

I am grateful that I was there to hold her when Mimi struggled to take her first breaths, and her last breaths. I am grateful for all of the breaths in between.

I am not ready for her to be gone, and I grieve the lost opportunity to get to know those pups and their new families.

I am grateful that I picked up Mimi from Anna's a few days before a planned trip to Ottawa, then cancelled that trip b/c I realized that the Board could get its work done without me, but getting myself and the dogs moved and settled could only be done by ME (with help). I am grateful that I let the other dogs stay at the kennel that weekend and hung out with just Mimi. We had some good times and great snuggles :)

I am grateful that Mimi had the joy recently of helping her brother dispatch a wee rodent in the backyard of the new house - the look on her face as she trounced over to me with that dead thing in her mouth was absolutely priceless. And that incident reminded me to deworm everyone to make sure we aren't carrying anything to the new yard, and make sure things were safe and sound for puppies.

I am grateful that I took this past week off from work to finish moving/staging house and be on puppy watch, then sloughed off most of my to "do's" re house stuff in order to sit outside in the sunshine in the grass with my awesome dogs, and innundate people with photos of Mimi.

I am devastated to lose my sweet sweet (with an evil streak) girl; I am overwhelmed with joy to have known her.

A beautiful Visitor - Melony McCarthy, 4th August, 2015

This butterfly visited us just now, and spent over a half hour around us. I first noticed it as I sat with Fia Whippet (Mimi's bereft best friend) curled up on the chair after she'd sniffed Mimi's towel again. The butterfly landed in the exact spot where I'd sat Mimi on the grass when we got home from vet check yesterday. That is beside a big piece of cardboard covering the decimated wasps nest where Fia got stung last week. Fia did not move, just watched the butterfly.

The butterfly flew over to the spot where Mimi died, on the concrete near the chair and door. Fia did not move. The butterfly fluttered over and landed on Mimi's towel. After several minutes of fluttering and landing near us, she flew out over the yard in a manner that reminded me of Border "zoomies."

I came inside to get a camera and the terriers. The butterfly was gone.... But in seconds, she reappeared, landing near me, on Mimi's towel, and on certain spots on the concrete. She did a couple of crazy fly-bys to Hermit, but he didn't seem to notice.

I took many photos and a couple of videos during the 20plus minutes she visited us. As I opened an article about arteries and dogs and pregnancy, the butterfly landed less than a foot away from me, right next to a well-enjoyed tartar bone.

I've seen dragonflies and a hummingbird here at our new home, but never a butterfly before today!